Bob Hope Biography

"Golf is my real profession - show business pays my green fees".

"You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake".

"I'm so old, they've cancelled my blood type"
(On his 100th birthday)

"Personally, I never drink on Oscar nights, as it interferes with my suffering."

"I love Oscar, that little bald head. I didn't know Sinead O'Connor had children!"

"They said I was worth $500 million. If I was worth that much, I wouldn't have visited Vietnam, I'd have sent for it."