Frankie Howerd Biography

“Titter ye not.”

“Ooh no, please, it’s wicked to mock the afflicted! Well, it might be one of your own! Don’t laugh at her, she might want paying - I told her this was an audition! She’s known to me as Madam Vera Roper, but she’s known to everyone else as the English Open!”
(when speaking about his piano accompanist Vera Roper)

“I’d like to win the Pools - I’d pack this bloody lark up!”

“If you expect Lenny Bruce, then you might as well piss off now!”

“Very clever all those boys are (speaking about Beyond The Fringe) - I think they should turn professional. They tell me they’ve learnt how to put on make-up - soon they’ll be using it on the stage!”

“You can’t die here - this is the living-room!”

“I thank you all, I enjoyed everyone, well, everyone except one.” (Talking about the film crew of Up Pompeii.)

“Sex change? From what to what? I’ll tell you this, any sex would be a change!”