Celebrity Fight Club
We all love a good fight and the big screen is jam-packed with action heroes and epic showdowns. But what we all really want to know is who their on-screen alter egos really should have squared up against before they called time. Too many golden opportunities have been missed in years gone by, and so BIO took the time to draw up a list of the ultimate on-screen clashes that we all secretly wish had happened.
Nobody acknowledges how much trouble there really is in the Disney universe. Forget Simba vs Scar: one of the most glaring areas of conflict is that this Prince Charming guy gets around a whole lot, and it’s surely only a matter of time before one of his girls smartens up to his shenanigans. So if Cinderella and Snow White were to go head to head over Charming, who would come out on top?
Cinderella put up with some pretty rough treatment at the hands of her surrogate family and endured the social suicide of departing a party in a pumpkin. But when the candidate in the other corner can charm forest animals into doing housework and survive a witch-induced coma, we clearly have a fierce contest on our hands. With Cinders struggling to fight in her specially fitted glass slippers, we imagine she would have a tough time against broom-wielding forest animals and Grumpy of the Seven Dwarves, leaving Snowy to emerge queen of the match.
Another thing we don’t see often enough is a good robot smack-down – and for the record, Michael Bay cutting together some mediocre space robots doesn’t count. Terminator vs Robocop, the baddest battle the 80s could have made would be a metal-mangling frenzy that sees two alternate dystopian futures battle it out over the fate of humanity.
The fact that Robocop looks like cheap animatronics at a theme park doesn’t necessarily put him out of this battle. His wily human wits and desire for justice should put him in good stead against a robot stupid enough to try crawling through industrial machinery with no legs. But this is still a battle between two robots who would fight to the bitter end, making it a tough one to call.
What could be more impressive than battling robots? Wizards! They can do all sorts of cool things, like make fire out of thin air and levitate. A classic is just waiting to be made by letting The Lord of the Rings’ Gandalf take on Harry Potter’s Dumbledore, a real clash of bearded wise-men that could combine flashy action with tactical genius to rival even a chess champion. The fight would be epic, with glowing staffs and fiery ropes, bombastic exclamations and frazzled white hair everywhere.
Nobody acknowledges how much trouble there really is in the Disney universe. Forget Simba vs Scar: one of the most glaring areas of conflict is that this Prince Charming guy gets around a whole lot, and it’s surely only a matter of time before one of his girls smartens up to his shenanigans. So if Cinderella and Snow White were to go head to head over Charming, who would come out on top?
Cinderella put up with some pretty rough treatment at the hands of her surrogate family and endured the social suicide of departing a party in a pumpkin. But when the candidate in the other corner can charm forest animals into doing housework and survive a witch-induced coma, we clearly have a fierce contest on our hands. With Cinders struggling to fight in her specially fitted glass slippers, we imagine she would have a tough time against broom-wielding forest animals and Grumpy of the Seven Dwarves, leaving Snowy to emerge queen of the match.
Another thing we don’t see often enough is a good robot smack-down – and for the record, Michael Bay cutting together some mediocre space robots doesn’t count. Terminator vs Robocop, the baddest battle the 80s could have made would be a metal-mangling frenzy that sees two alternate dystopian futures battle it out over the fate of humanity.
The fact that Robocop looks like cheap animatronics at a theme park doesn’t necessarily put him out of this battle. His wily human wits and desire for justice should put him in good stead against a robot stupid enough to try crawling through industrial machinery with no legs. But this is still a battle between two robots who would fight to the bitter end, making it a tough one to call.
What could be more impressive than battling robots? Wizards! They can do all sorts of cool things, like make fire out of thin air and levitate. A classic is just waiting to be made by letting The Lord of the Rings’ Gandalf take on Harry Potter’s Dumbledore, a real clash of bearded wise-men that could combine flashy action with tactical genius to rival even a chess champion. The fight would be epic, with glowing staffs and fiery ropes, bombastic exclamations and frazzled white hair everywhere.
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